i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize