dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
