I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
