If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
