I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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