she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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