I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
