you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
