You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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