it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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