We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
