hotel room ftw
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
