it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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