this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
