I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
