He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
