Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
