I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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