what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize