I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
