I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
