I puked a lego.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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