He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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