Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize