I didn't shave. On purpose
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
