I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
