Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
