U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
