I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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