i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize