wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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