Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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