At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
