i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
