screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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