I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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