You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
