im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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