Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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