I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
