nut hugger
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize