We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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