dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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