So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize