I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He did a backflip because drugs
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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