if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
