im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
