is your mom at the bar?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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