I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize