I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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