I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
