You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
