hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
