So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
