I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
